Love's Lessons Learned
by strlite
Summary: A sort-of-sequel to Love's Labors Found. Set in the near future. Mac reflects on happier childhood memories with her daughter.


Love's Lessons Learned (1/1)  
  
Disclaimer: JAG is not mine, though sometimes, I wish it were.  
  
Author's Note: This is a sort of sequel to Love's Labors Found. You do not have to read that to get this. I thought that since everyone dwells on the fact that Mac's childhood was awful ( and I'm not saying it wasn't) I decided to try for a new aspect of it. So, I hope you like it. I've been getting really inspired at school lately with all the books we've been reading. "Memoirs of a Geisha", "The Poisonwood Bible", and also " God of Small Things". I love that type of writing, with all the details, and even though I'm not even close to being as good as those authors are, that's how I strive to write. So I hope you enjoy this. I had fun writing it. And this takes place in the kind-of close future.  
  
May 2009...  
  
" Okay, Liv. Let's go get in bed," Mac said as she walked into her 4-year old daughter's room. She found her in the corner having tea with a couple of her favorite companions: Mr. Bear and Miss Rabbit. And, of course, she had on her Mother's pair of heels. Apparently, she had also snuck into her Mother's purse and slipped out her new lipstick. That assumption was proven by the fact that she had it smeared everywhere around but not on her mouth. She needs a little practice, Mac thought as she laughed to herself.  
  
"Mommy, look!" Olivia exclaimed as she noticed her mother standing in her doorway. Her smile beamed with pride as she picked up her empty, plastic teapot and began to "pour" tea into her patient companions' tea cups. Mac watched as her daughter very properly and politely excused herself as she reached over the table to serve her guests. Her chestnut curls fell over her shoulders as she leaned forward, her aqua-blue eyes concentrating on the little hands' task.  
  
"You're such a lady, Liv," Mac said with a smile as she crossed the room to her daughter. Olivia looked up at her with her father's wide grin, dimples embedded in her cheeks.  
  
"I know I am," she said as she hopped off her chair. She grabbed her "blankie" blanket that was laying next to her on the floor and padded to her bed. Her pink nightgown that she had gotten for Christmas was still to big for her and wrinkled at her feet, threatening to trip her. But still, she refused to wear anything else. She climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her body. Mac followed her over and sat down on the side.  
  
"Liv, you can't go to bed with all that make-up on your face," she said reaching for a tissue on the bedside table.  
  
"But Mom, I'm a lady."  
  
"Maybe while hosting a tea party but not when you go to bed, stinker," she replied, cleaning her daughter's face. Olivia scrunched her eyes shut as her mother wiped her mouth; her lips pursed in detest to the tissue as it left some of itself behind when she was done. She reached over for her bedside cup of water to help wash the Kleenex shreds off her lips.  
  
Mac watched her daughter as she used the back of her hand to wipe off her lips after she was finished with her drink. She fell back into her pillow, her ringlets framing her face, and she hugged her blankie to her chest. The perfection of this child was something she'd never dreamed possible. Of course, she thought, that that was probably what every mother felt about their child. But this was different. This one was hers. She reached to tuck the covers around Olivia and then pushed a curl off her forehead. Mother and Daughter's eyes locked and Daughter smiled her baby tooth grin.  
  
"Mommy, did you know that I love you?"  
  
Mac smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Yep, this was perfection alright. " Yeah baby, I know."  
  
"Do you love me too?"  
  
  
  
"Yes baby. I love you a whole, whole bunch."  
  
"And do you love Daddy a whole, whole bunch too?"  
  
"Yes, I love your Daddy very, very much," she said tickling Olivia's stomach, making her giggle. " And Daddy loves me just as much."  
  
Olivia thought for a moment, moving her mouth from side to side just like her Father, and then asked, " What about your mommy and daddy? Do they love you?"  
  
Mac thought for a moment, unsure of whether or not to tell her daughter about her other grandparents she had never met. Looking into her innocent face, she didn't want to destroy the simple world in which she was living in. She had yet to experience the real world and would be unable to comprehend such. But deciding to refrain from lying, she opted to tell the truth in a much kinder way.  
  
"Yeah, they loved me. Just… in a different way than I love you." Her daughter was looking up at her with her large eyes.  
  
"Oh," then, "Mommy, will you tell me a story?"  
  
"What kind of a story, sweetie?"  
  
"A story about you and your mommy and daddy when they loved you."  
  
There weren't too many stories to tell. Stories of love and happiness in her family were few and far between. And her daughter was asking her to pick out a memory from her childhood that didn't include the yelling, or hitting or kicking and swearing. Or even the abandonment and drinking. She wanted her to remember something happy, something that she rarely experienced as a child. She was asking her to focus on something positive about that period of time. Something she had never done. Something she had never been asked to do. So she searched every part of her memory, looking for any sort of happiness that could appease her daughter's desires. And what she remembered made the corners of her mouth turn up a bit. It was a memory of one of the only times her father actually told her he loved her.  
  
" Alright baby. I'll tell you a story," she whispered, running her fingers through her daughter's hair. Olivia smiled up at her, her eyes gleaming in anticipation. She scooted closer to her mother's thigh and snuggled into her blankie.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sarah McKenzie's childhood home  
  
August 1976  
  
…she counted the tiny, black holes in the deck's wooden steps as she sat outside enjoying her last summer evening but anxiously awaiting her first day of third grade. As the wind moved the night air through the trees, she looked out over her backyard, her eyes catching the dancing light bugs. She watched as they turned themselves off and on, communicating to each other, letting other fireflies know of their presence. She giggled as one landed on her knee tickling her skin. It soon flew off and her eyes followed it as it became one with the stars. She stared in awe at their glowing brilliance as their light showered down onto her face.  
  
"They're beautiful aren't they, baby?"  
  
Sarah turned around as she heard a voice behind her.  
  
"Hi, daddy," she smiled. He gave her a wink and began to walk towards her. He joined her on her perch and sat down, resting his arms on his knees and let out a breath. She watched him as he mimicked her previous position, his face turned toward the dark sky. When he didn't move or didn't speak for a while, she asked, " What are you thinking about, Daddy?"  
  
He turned toward her and smiled. " How many of those stars do you think are up there, Sar'?" he asked.  
  
She redirected her gaze to the sky and scrunched her lips to the side in thought. " I don't know. Probably thousands, I guess."  
  
He laughed at her answer a little. " Maybe thousands right above us, Sarah. But there are billions and trillions more that we can't ever see."  
  
Sarah's eyes widened a bit and her mouth formed a round 'oh'. "Wow. That's a lot."  
  
"Yeah. Pretty amazing, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah…it is," she said looking back up to the night sky. They sat in silence for a minute and then she felt her father's eyes upon her. She looked over to him and was surprised to see faint tears in his eyes.  
  
"You know I love you, don't you baby?" he asked her, running a hand down the side of her head. It stopped to rest on her shoulder.   
  
"Yeah, Daddy… I know." she answered.  
  
"No matter what, Sarah, I love you."  
  
She reached her small arms out to him and rested her head upon his shoulder as she gave him a hug. " Yeah, Daddy. I know. No matter what." Her hands gently rubbed his back, making uneven circles of reassurance. He pulled away from her, giving her nose a light tap. She smiled a little. He looked down at his hands and started to rub them together. " Well, don't stay out here too late watchin` the fireflies, okay? You gotta be up early tomorrow."  
  
"Okay Daddy." He reached out to the railing and pulled himself up. She heard him walk away and the screen door slam shut as she sat alone again on the steps, watching all the stars with a new perspective…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That was one of the last times her father ever told her he loved her. It was the last time for many things. But as she looked down at her sleeping daughter, she realized that this was the first time she was able to pull that memory. That was one of the first lessons her daughter would be able to teach her of love. She smiled as she stroked her rosy cheeks and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight baby," she whispered into her ear as she carefully stood up and walked for the door. She took one last look at her beloved child before she turned off the lights leaving Olivia's Precious Moments nightlight to illuminate the room. She pulled the door shut behind her as she walked down the hall to her room.  
  
He was already under the covers and dozing when she slipped in. His bedside lamp was still on and he had a book laying halfway open on his torso. She quietly tiptoed around the bed and pulled the book off his chest and dog-eared it laying it down on his side table. She clicked off the light and then slipped carefully in beside him, spooning up to his chest.  
  
"Sarah…" he mumbled.  
  
  
  
"It's okay… go back to sleep, sweetie." He slipped his right arm underneath her body and wrapped his left arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She inhaled his familiar aroma and closed her eyes. Half-asleep he kissed the crown of her head and murmured something that sounded like 'I love you'. But that's okay, she didn't need to understand his words. She already knew. Because her daughter wasn't the only who had ever taught her a lesson in love. So had her partner, best friend, confidant, husband, and lover- Harm. She pulled the covers up tighter around them and fell asleep in loving arms and with happiness in her heart. 


End file.
